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Lets All Go a Curling

It's the Scots fault.Curling was a great loch sport until the end of the ice age. After that, the lochs absolutely refused to freeze. Now it's a great refrigerated ice sport. We have about 15,000 Americans playing the slide-the-stone game.We have curling in Idaho.

You can read about our curling clubs at http://www.cityofboise.org/parks/Iceworld/curling.htm.Read the exciting history of the exciting sport of curling at http://www.usacurl.

org/basics/history_of_curling.htm.Curling is an Olympic sport. That started in 1998. Right this minute I'm watching curling on television. The United States just beat Denmark 8 to 3.

How very exciting.Curling is somewhat like shuffleboard. That's the game played by old people like me on some cruise ships and in some city parks.

In curling you slide a stone too-heavy-to-left along the ice. Once the stone is rushing down the "runway" at about one mile per year, others sweep in front of the stone. Teammates yell words of encouragement to the sweepers.I'm not sure what sweeping does. Does it polish the ice so that the stone will go faster in the direction of the sweep? Does it roughen the ice to slow the stone down? What is a curl anyway? This calls for research.A quick Google search shows the official rules of curling.

Read them at http://www.usacurl.org/Media/Press%20Kit/WCFRules.htm.Under section 4: Stones, we learn that "(2) No stone, including handle and bolt, shall be of greater weight than 19.96 kilograms (44 lbs.

) or of greater circumference than 91.44 centimeters (36 inches) or of less height than 11.43 centimeters (4.5 inches).".

Let's say you have a stone that is 3-feet in circumference. Dividing by π we get a maximum diameter of 11.459129 (ignoring the fact that I used π to only 5 significant figures).

Anyway, that looks about like the diameter they use in the Olympics. I think that means wider the better.My television just switched to the Westminster Dog Show. What's as fun to watch as curling is the trainers running the dogs around the arena.I have to stop here for a minute because they are showing the sporting group. Go have a cup of coffee.

I'll be back as soon as I see which family-loving bundle of energy with the highly-developed sense of smell wins the group. Did you know that the German Shorthair Pointer has questionable lineage? Wow, that Brittany is a beauty.Back to the very exciting game of curling.Wow! That's a nice Chesapeake!.

Occasionally a stone gets broken in curling. I've never seen it happen but that would be a very exciting moment in the sport. If a stone breaks, one must then decide which fragment is the largest. Once that is carefully determined, a new stone is placed in its spot. The game then continues?but things will never be the same.

The Golden Retriever is one of the most loved dogs in the world.I don't know how this would ever happen in curling but if a stone rolls over onto its side or its top, is shall immediately be removed. It would take Paul Bunyan to accomplish this feat.

The English setter is often an object of art. They can come in orange or lemon as well as other colors.In curling if the handle comes off the stone, after a good laugh, the stone, if desired, may be replayed. I think that requires a new stone but I'm not sure of that.In curling you must release the stone. If you don't, you will look silly sliding down the runway.

By the way, the term runway is not used in curling as far as I know but you know what I mean.The Black Cocker Spaniel "is black" according to the Westminster Dog Show announcer.A player in curling must not doodle around when it is his or her turn.

The skip is the teams boss. The skip must not put up with slowpokes. One must get that stone "running.

".The English springer spaniel has a history in the White House.According to the rules of curling there is no purpose in sweeping in front of a stationary stone.

That will not get it moving. And you must not sweep in front of an opponent's stone. That would be rude.The Irish Water Spaniel has a rat tail.

They don't like strangers. When I was a kid, my friend, Paul, had a water spaniel. Believe me, they don't like anybody.In curling, you must not tackle the opposing sweepers while they are trying to sweep.

Sweepers must not damage the ice with their brooms.The Spinoni Italiano is tireless. He was developed in Italy. He likes pepperoni on his pizza.

In curling there will be no switching brooms or brushes in the middle of the game. If your broom or brush breaks, you must replace it with the exact type of broom or brush.Section 12 of the curling rules tell you how to score. I'll let you figure that out for yourself. There is to be no smoking, drug-use, or profanity in curling.

What a nice clean sport.The Golden Labrador Retriever, "America's dog," won the Sporting Group.The Hound Group is next.

.John T.

Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He calls himself "Taylor Jones, the hack writer.

".More info: http://www.tjbooks.com.Business web site: http://www.

dumbincome.com.

By: John T Jones, Ph.D.



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